Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
