I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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