it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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