I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
