I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize