You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
vagina is talking i cant
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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