Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize