you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize