My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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