I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
