hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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