What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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