I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i've created a new STD.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
