need another drink. this is the easiest way
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
