Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You ruined the universe
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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