her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
