im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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