we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
