well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
