So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
