OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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