Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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