If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His hands were made for my vagina.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
