He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
