I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
