God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
