I'm passing your future prison.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
