I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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