i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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