Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
