i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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