Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
