last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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