Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
