Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
