i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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