All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
