Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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