I'm eating all of the evidence.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
