Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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