She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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