Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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