I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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