:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
