yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
