i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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