I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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