Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
