I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
