you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
