My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
