Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.

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(650): View more from California

I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...

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(914): View more from New York

Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.

(917): View more from New York City

So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?

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(706): View more from Georgia

We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!

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