dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
