well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
