She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize