i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
