drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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