Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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