This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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