i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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