I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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