i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
