so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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